You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.
I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting recently.
What I have gathered is that in my last relationship, I wasn’t truly focused on it. I was always comparing it to what I used to have, wondering what could have been and wishing for something more.
I am a victim of my thoughts.
But what I realized is that it completely pushed me away from the unconditional love that he had for me. I remember every time he picked me up, he would be waiting at the passengers door to open and close it for me. And how he wasn’t afraid to brag about me or “show me off” as he would say. I like it when my man is proud of me. And he wouldn’t let me give up on him. Constantly trying to impress me like it was day one. Persistence. All these things I adore, but it was my roaming thoughts that kept me in this tunnel vision that said “no I dont want to be with him.”
Look at me now, reminiscing on the past and reminding myself of all the positive aspects of my past relationship. That is the real problem. Looking back on relationships, I always remind myself of everything that went well. Everything that brought me happiness. And I think that is why I get caught up wishing things didn’t end. Things may have ended poorly with my college lover, but for some reason all my memories of happy times. I dont even remember what we used to fight about.
I even thought about my main high school relationship and reminded myself of everything wonderful he did for me and the things we did together. Until my best friend told me “don’t you remember when you came into math class crying sometimes?” What a rude awakening. Completely true, but just disregarded over time I suppose.
I am a victim of my memories.
However, I went into my current relationship already aware of this past problem and I told myself, “I will always look at him with gentle eyes that show him that I care.” Even though thoughts of my past happened, and a lot of trips down memory lane occurred, I continue to remind myself to focus. It’s been a while since I liked someone this much, who likes me back too and I don’t want to be the one to fuck this up.
That’s really all there is to it.
The greatest gift you can give someone is the space to be his or herself, without the threat of you leaving.
Nostalgia is a dirty liar that insists things were better than they seemed.
We’re girls, we get jealous, we hate that mother fucker who spams your facebook, we tend to assume things, our imaginations go wild. Every second you take to reply, thousands of things goes through our heads ; We start assuming, and this is when we get insecure. But then.. we’ll try comfort ourselves, we’ll think back to our conversations and make our-self believe you ain’t that type of guy. So don’t disappoint us.